#1’s Help Needed

Have you ever been SO Angry…SO Hurt that you felt NOTHING could make it go away? 

That’s how I feel now. 

And try as I might, and Pray as I may…It just won’t GO AWAY!

I try to move on…I try to focus on today. 

I Drown myself in my Kids and it’s still there, gnawing away at me…Poisoning me…Corrupting and Decaying me from within…

And All because I Trusted.  All because I Believed.  All because I Loved.

How I Wish that Then I had put God First.  Made Him my Number 1! 

How I Wish that I Had Him First!  If only I could drown myself in Him.  Then I KNOW I wouldn’t have all of THIS!

I am trying.  I Try.  Just not hard enough and I KNOW this. 

I Pray that I am Stronger, more Resolved. 

Dear Lord, Help me to Make you First.