If you have not had the opportunity to read “Lambs to the Slaughter” here on the From the Pews Blog, please do so.
I may seem a tad biased, but I think that my husband did an Amazing job! His writing is one of the main reasons I fell in love with him, and after having read his post, I am not ashamed to say that I got all aflutter! 😉
To quote my Sister Seera, “Marriage is not for Wimps!” I say, “And How!”
I think it is quite safe to say that we have more than our fair share of ups and downs. We are Blessed to have “Drama” that not many couples have to contend with. We are even more Blessed to have many around us that Pray for and with us, equally important, to GUIDE us.
I remember hearing back in the VHS Days (I know, ya llovió, or in English, the WHAT DAYS?!), “I wish Babies came with Instruction Videos.” I myself, have wished for the same, Parenting is difficult, but what of Marriage? Why can’t we get a DVD or Blu-Ray Disc (BD), of our Partner that would include Needs, Wants, Shortcomings, How-to talk to, How-to Compromise with, all the How-To’s we NEED, the Do’s and Don’ts of Communicating, etc…Can you imagine? It would make Married life so much easier.
I am reading (have been reading it for a couple of months now, can’t seem to finish it because of two Beautiful Little Reasons and when I do have time, I wind up re-reading chapters so as to not forget) a book titled, The 10 Commandments of Marriage: The Do’s and Don’ts for a Lifelong Covenant by Ed Young. It was given to us by a Wonderful Friend! I want to share with you all a Beautiful analogy in regards to Two Becoming One.
[…] (F)rom where I sat […] I could look down and see two streams coming together to form a beautiful river. One of the streams carried quite a bit of debris from the mountain as a result of melting snow. The other seemed somewhat silty. So I sat and watched as these little creeks flowed along quietly…until they met one another. At the point of convergence, these two trickling streams became churning white water!
No more peaceful, babbling brooks, but loud, roaring rapids. Each stream brought all the debris that had come down with it from farther up the mountain. As I looked beyond those rapids to where the two had become a single waterway, I saw they had become clear, clean, and quiet. They seemed to flow in harmony.
So it is in marriage. When two people become one, there may be an explosive convergence as they adjust to the new relationship. But as they get farther “downstream,” a wonderful thing happens: oneness.
We have all seen those Beautiful Older Couples. They have been together for about 50 years, they know each other, they seem to read one another’s minds, their eyes still twinkle when they catch a glimpse of the other. That is oneness. That is what I believe most of us strive for. That is what we want, what I want.
We just need to tackle the “churning white water.” We must endure the the rough times, we must learn from them. Learn from and about one another. Be Patient. Be Loving. But above all, Forgiving. It is better to be Loved than Right, right? Sound great, and it is doable, we just must work on Pride. And I have lots of it.
Communication, Patience, Understanding, Forgiving. For yours truly, these are the essential components. It is what we are working on, what we will continue to work on. It’s not easy, it’s not for WIMPS! 😉
It is much easier to just say, “It’s too hard. It’s too Painful. It’s too much work. It’s not worth it.” But we won’t know if it is or was worth it if we leave, if we give up. As silly as it sounds, Marriage is a Cross as well. But it doesn’t always have to be Bad! Marriage has so much GOOD! There are so many good times. Memories, Joys, Tenderness, Sharing, Giving, and yes, Love. There is always someone there, good times, bad times, your other half is there. And if we wait it out, if we can work together through the “Loud, Roaring Rapids” we will get to enjoy “Harmony.” We just can’t stop working. We can’t ease up and let the other one do all the paddling, we’ll sink. We won’t make it. We have to be a Team. We have to be One.
Yessir, Marriage is not for Wimps.