The older you get, the more tangible this is.
If you are Blessed to have Children, then you know first hand that all you have to do is blink and *poof* they’re grown!
How did that happen, you ask.
When did it happen, you wonder.
Where was I, one exclaims!
My First-Born Pumpkin Princess turns 20…yes, TWENTY today.
If you have been here before, months ago, or even years now – EEK – then you know about My Babies and me.
About 2 years ago I was going to start another Private, Personal Blog. Which I would later “uncover” for My Babies.
I lacked the courage. I mean, I did begin to write. Letters, emotions, stories…then, I realized that it was in my cowardice that I began this endeavour! Or so I thought.
Thus, I stopped. I deleted all I wrote. How I regret it…
For you see, I also have torn up letters I have written to them over the years for fear of sounding biased or burdening them.
Again, Big Mistake!
Now I have nothing to show for all those years. And with a memory as bad as mine – my Coma-Sis can attest to this – I will never “know” what happened or how I felt.
8 Years of Pain and Sorrow. EIGHT! And nothing to show. I can tell you an incident here and another there, but I should have left it all…
And yet…is it not best to just have let it die?
I would give it all if I could start anew with them. I wouldn’t give a fig about the past!
I know that is but a dream of mine…
My Mom tells me to have hope. She says all children come around…eventually…
But what when she asks? I will no longer have “concrete” answers and evidence. Will it matter?
Last night I lay in bed for hours, unable to sleep, talking to her as I very customarily do. I had that conversation where I tell her that yes, I am flawed and have failed, but that no one is perfect, not even him she holds so dear.
And then I stop, for I know she would become quite defensive at that point.
I then begin our conversation again.
Funny thing is that right when I begin to nuzzle into Morpheus’ arms, the Perfect conversation, the perfect words come to mind.
But damned be Morpheus, he distracts me and the words are lost to me once more.
One day, or night rather, one night it will come to me and I will be able to resist Morpheus’ charms and I will write it all down so that when that day comes…which I believe is much sooner than I even imagine, I will be, sort of, prepared.
For now, I am quite Happy for my Pumpkin Princess. She has become quite a Beautiful and Intelligent Young Woman.
If you get a chance, and if you would be so kind, a quick Prayer for her would be Greatly Appreciated ♥
Thank you for trusting me enough to allow this Young Woman to be born to me.
I am sorry that I have not lived up to what you would have hoped.
Fortunately, You are there, as is her Guardian Angel and Our Blessed Mother that also Loves and Watches over each and every one of us.
I ask you to please Guide her, Watch over her and Protect her from the temptations and evil snares of this world.
Please open her heart to You, to Love. May it be filled and that it overflow to all those around her.
And if you get a chance, let her know how much she means to me…
Thank You, Lord.
This made me remember a time when my daughter was far from me.She came back and we are at a good place right now.I know God is always in control and isn’t it wonderful to know that our past does not define us.God is good all the time.Happy Bithday beautiful daughter of From The Pews………
Thank you So Very Much for your words of kindness, hope, and Inspiration ♥
God IS Good All the Time!!!
And thank you for the Birthday Wish ♥
Very touching post! I have two daughters, so I understand a lot of what you are feeling. Both of them were emotionally distant for a few years, but through love and faith both have returned to loving me. Bless you and your daughter.
I am Very, Very Happy for you and them ♥
I Pray that your relationship continue to grow and strengthen each day.
Thank You and Bless you and Your Daughters †
HEALING GRACE – Andy Bromley
Beautiful Song…Thank You ♥
18 Do not remember the former things,
or consider the things of old.
19 I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
If we do not look forward, we will miss that path…
Thank You for the Reminder
God Love You ♥
Prayer for the graces of Motherhood
Powerful is your intercession with God, Mary, for you are His mother.
Tender, too, is your love for us, for you are our mother.
Confidently, then, I come to you as a child, poor and needy, to seek your aid and protection.
In every trial of motherhood, I beg your aid.
For the grace of a happy delivery, I come to you.
For your holy assistance in guarding and directing each tiny soul with which God entrust me, I call to you.
In every sorrow that comes to me in my motherhood, I confide in you.
That I may have strength to bear cheerfully all the pains and the hardships of motherhood, I lean on you.
That the sweetness of motherhood may not through my neglect be embittered in later years by pains of regret, I trust in you.
That the will of God may always be fulfilled in me through each act of my motherhood, little and great, I beg your aid.
Never forsake me, dear mother, my hope, my consolation, my confidence, and my trust,
But ever be at my side to aid and protect me, your needy child. Amen.
Mother of love, of Sorrow, and of Mercy, Pray for us!
From “The Mother’s Manual” by A. Francis Coomes, a prayer book for all occasions suited to mothers can be purchased on Amazon or Free Catholic Shipping.
Regrettably, through my selfishness and neglect, I do shed embittered tears…
But One must Never lose Hope ♥
Bless You for this Prayer that brought such Loving Tears to my eyes!
God Love You †