There are many, many things that can bring pain into Parents’ Hearts…
I’ve been Fortunate enough to experience my fair share. I guess all of us Parents do.
There is one thing that makes me feel completely Impotent! Useless!
Not being able to make my Beautiful Daughter see just how Special, Brilliant, Amazing, Wonderful and Beautiful she IS!
With Society telling her she’s not as good as Model A or Actress B…I feel it is an uphill battle.
My Husband has been reading a book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father
Should Know by Margaret J. Meeker M.D. It is through him, and through his reading several “Dad” books that I have been learning just how powerful a Father’s Influence is over his “Little Girl.”
I, personally, am not familiar with this area. I was never a Daddy’s Little Girl, nor did I have a Father in the picture my whole life…
NO! I take that back. I have ALWAYS had a Father in the picture, I just never was truly aware of His Presence, of His Love for me until fairly recent. The Dad to which I am referring is the Biological Procreator (redundant, I know, I just like the sound of it, and it also makes it a further step detached). Having lacked this Experience, I guess I am quite ignorant to its effect. Although, I guess one could say that I have had many an experience that can attest to the lack of Paternal Unit. I am far from being a statistic, and yet, as I said, I have had my fair share of incidents where had I benefitted from a Dad being around, perhaps the outcome would have been different or the incident would have been avoided altogether, but that is a moot point.
The point is…I am learning the Power of Dads on their Little Girls. I am seeing it. I am seeing what the lack of Daddy telling his Little Girl how Beautiful she is, how Intelligent she is, how Special she is, how the ONLY being that Loves her more than himself is God is (awkward sentence, I know, but I had to share that one with you, thank you NINJA CRAB GUY -more on him in a later post), how Daddy not telling and reinforcing his Little Girl’s Value has huge, detrimental, scarring, painful effects!
Hearing my Beautiful Princess Pumpkin so down on herself…Seeing her Self-Esteem and Self-Worth flaying…and no matter how much or how many times I tell her she’s Beautiful, Intelligent, Amazing and Wonderful she always, without fail responds, “You have to say that, you’re my Mom.” It’s disheartening. It’s frustrating. It makes me feel so worthless! My words have no power, no effect on her, nothing! Nada! I am wasting my saliva for Heaven’s Sake!
As much as I try and tell her, as much as I try to reinforce her value….all it takes is one word, one slightly misconstrued statement from her Dad…to make her feel like Nothing! Like she doesn’t fit it, she’s not good enough! She’s not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not ANYTHING Enough!
Fathers…please, PLEASE realize the power, the influence you have in your Little Girls’ lives…
Use it for good, use it wisely…USE IT!!
Oh, and yes, “with great power comes great responsibility…” 😉
I Love You Princess Pumpkin! You ARE Beautiful! You ARE an Amazingly Wonderful, Intelligent, Blessed Human Being that is Loved, Adored by not just us, but more important, by Our Father in Heaven. And no one, No One will ever Love you as He! Only He will NEVER let you down. Only He will Never disappoint you. Only He is Perfect and therefore His Love is Perfect! Remember He IS Love!
Your Horribly Imperfect Mommy…
Creo todas las niñas son así, no créen cuando les decimos lo hermosas, bellas, preciosas que son por lo menos mientras están pequeñitas lo aceptan después ya no, lo digo por experiencia en mis hijas. Pero no dejes de decirle que un día vá a recordarlo y le vá a dar gusto y ternura. Yo no tengo memoria de haberlo escuchado jamás de mi mamá, de mi abuela paterna miles de veces y que hermoso era, asi es la vida, ojalá los padres, Papás lo hagan siempre y demuestren su amor.
Estará el libro en español ??
Dios los bendiga, Love you.
A father’s influence is great, but don’t give into the temptation to believe your words are not doing any good! If only a tiny percent of it is getting through that is still more than silence, and as a girl raised with maternal silence I can tell ya that sucks. As her mom you don’t have to say anything, and as someone who knows you I know you are treating her no different than you treat all of us – you are the the type to let people know the good stuff about them.
Mary Pipher’s writing is an act of grace. Her watershed book “Reviving Ophelia – Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls” spoke to my daughter’s deepest self.
See this link to “LOOK INSIDE” the book: