My Marriage Decision
Just when you think life may get a bit boring…you know that Happy Boring state? When you’re all, “Oh My Goodness, Life is Wonderful!” You’re whistling and yup, you have that Blue Bird on your Shoulder. THAT kind of Boring Happiness…
Drama! Pain! Misery!
No, sir. Not a Boring life ever, is it?
Earlier this week I mentioned Retrouvaille. It is a Process for Marriages in Trouble.
To say that My Husband’s and My Marriage is in trouble is kind of like saying that the Ocean is a tad salty. No Exaggeration, Honest!
My Husband found out about Retrouvaille some weeks back, researched it and decided that it would be a good thing for us.
Now, a bit of back story here, HE researched it, HE looked into it, HE did all that because I was not about to lift a finger. You see, for the past 10 years, our relationship has been more than a wee bit shaky. In fact, you could say that we had no real or true foundation and you’d be spot on. Ours was not one of those, “Our eyes met across a crowded room and it was love at first sight.” Ours was more like Star-Crossed Lovers, Wrong Place, Wrong Time, but fell in love anyway. Because of that, we have had nothing but Lies, Deceit and Betrayal.
Sounds like a Soap Opera, doesn’t it? If only…
Thus, ours was a Relationship built upon Lies. No relationship is healthy if it begins this way. We all read and hear about it, but for some peculiar reason, we think ours will be the exception. Damn you, Hollywood! Okay, I cannot just blame Hollywood…Damn You Pride, Vanity and Ego! That is much more appropriate and honest. I need to take my share of Responsibility, I truly thought that Ours was the Exception. That we could Overcome. Love Overcomes Everything, doesn’t it? And Ego is there to back it up.
Getting back to Retrouvaille. When he told me about it, I was elated. He rarely does anything to help our relationship unless he has to! Unless he’s in the Proverbial Doghouse and is trying to score some Brownie Points. I mean, here he was, looking into something to help us. Help build our Communication. And wouldn’t you know it, and I am sure you do, that as soon as you’re headed toward that Straight and Narrow Path, Satan is not too happy. Ah, but he is MORE than happy to steer you astray. And that, that is exactly what he tried to do the DAY we were to leave for our Retrouvaille weekend.
My Dear Husband was nothing short of an A**! After the way he behaved, there was NOTHING, NOTHING that was going to get me to go to this Retrouvaille Weekend with him. NOTHING! And he knew it.
He spent an hour before the Blessed Sacrament. He later shared with me that as he Prayed, as he Listened he heard clear as Day, in his ear a voice tell him, “You know what to do.”
Now, he says that it wasn’t forceful. It wasn’t scolding, that it was just very Matter-of-Factly. He says that when he heard this, first he was shaken, then, well, that he just hung his head and said, “I know.”
He called me and Pleaded that I go with him. He promised me that if this weekend did not help us then, I was free to leave our Relationship. Therefore, I jumped at it. What did I have to lose? I felt that I had already lost my Marriage. So what was left?
To not make this too long, it went better than I could have ever imagined! It was Earth-Shattering! We honestly and truly walked out on Sunday afternoon holding hands and filled with hope. Something that I had not known for a while…
Love was a Choice! It was not a fleeting, temporary, changing Feeling…it was a Decision that one makes and you stick with it, thick and thin, good and bad, for better or for worse, it was a Decision!
What Freedom! What an Epiphany! That meant that even when I resented him the most, I could still Love him. Simplistic? Maybe. But oh so wise and true.
There was much more that happened that weekend, not just this new-found knowledge. Much, much more. And you would think that this is where the story ends and that we lived happily ever after…I WISH!
Remember that I said that as soon as you head towards that path, that Straight and Narrow, HE hates it and will do whatever he can to destroy our map that is guiding us. Satan will create a million and one deterrents to keep us from being with our Lord and Saviour. He will distort our Hearts and Minds with all sorts of “noise” so that we are unable to hear the Holy Spirit guiding us. And That is exactly what he did.
I will bore you again at a later date…