New-ish House

As you know, we are buying a house.

Bought a house. 

It officially closes on Monday. 

You would think I would be excited.  Thrilled.  Overjoyed.  Heck, in the very least HAPPY! 

What I feel is dread.  Remorse.  Impending Doom…

Quite the opposite, isn’t it?

Paint on the walls may change the look of it.  But it is still drowning in Things…

I walk through the door and I am depleted of Life, of Love, (yes, I so wanted to continue with Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, but it’s just too corny) of Energy, of Zest for Life. 

I walk through that door and all I want to do is Cry! 

My Babies arrive in a couple of hours, and originally I wanted to take them there, have a room ready for them…

Now, I don’t want to be there myself, why on Earth would I take them? 

I can almost say I hate it…

I know it’s not the House’s fault…but it is the Shell of it all…Sorry, House…But I don’t think I can see you as a Home…not under these circumstances…not now…

I just want it all gone…all of it…

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12 thoughts on “New-ish House

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  1. After we sold my mother’s estate (note how I emotionally keep a safe zone and don’t call it what it was – our family home) my brother made an awesome point to one sister who thought of going by after the new folks arrived…

    “Never go back to look because either they have a) changed it for the better and you’ll wish it was still yours or more likely, b) they’ll have changed it away from how you liked it and you’ll be mad its not still yours… either way you won’t be happy and it will colour the memories you had”

    Setting down a claim is hard, even in a house built for you. It takes time. We never had a clean break from the previous owners, years later we still have collection agencies calling around… once they even subscribed to the newspaper (3 years after moving!) just to make it look like they still lived here.

    I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes from my Mother when we got our house:
    Good fences make good neighbours!

    So set some boundaries and make that house yours!

    Like

    1. 😀
      I Like that Quote! Good Fences make Good Neighbors!

      I just have to gather up enough courage to set those Boundries…as of yet, I am still feeling Guilt, but more than that, ANGST!!

      I think I should just Dive Right In and Que Sera, Sera….

      Like

  2. !@#$%^&**()_+

    THE BEST WAY OUT IS ALWAYS THROUGH. – Robert Frost

    Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. – Robert Frost

    Did you SLEEP last night? Are you in bed by 10pm? Have you been drinking 8 glasses of WATER daily? Are you getting regular EXERCISE? Breaking a SWEAT? Do you have a LAUGH date at least once a week? Are you delegating to your team of 12 HELPERS?

    Do you have a BELL? Yes, a bell. It’s time to ring that bell throughout the house, room by room.

    Play some MUSIC, DANCE, and SING, every single day. It could be your last. Although at this point it sounds like that might be a relief!

    Do you have a PLAY date once a week? I mean for you, something FUN.

    In Edith Stein’s essay “Feminine Vocations” http://www.essays.quotidiana.org/stein/feminine_vocations she states that a woman is the “heart of the family, and the soul of the home”.

    So you need to fill your HEART, and nourish your SOUL.

    CLARO?

    And I need to go find my BELL.

    Like

    1. With…

      Those 4 little letters carry so much meaning…so much weight, even responsibility and burden…

      To all of your questions, No…

      I needed this Blog. I needed these words…Our Lord Definitely works in the Most Mysterious of Ways…

      I still think you should Blog with me! 😉

      Oh, and I do have a bell! It’s high time I use it!

      Like

  3. THE BEST WAY OUT IS ALWAYS THROUGH. – Robert Frost

    Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. – Robert Frost

    Did you SLEEP last night? Are you in bed by 10pm? Have you been drinking 8 glasses of WATER daily? Are you getting regular EXERCISE? Breaking a SWEAT? Do you have a LAUGH date at least once a week? Are you delegating to your team of 12 HELPERS?

    Do you have a BELL? Yes, a bell. It’s time to ring that bell throughout the house, room by room.

    Play some MUSIC, DANCE, and SING, every single day. It could be your last. Although at this point it sounds like that might be a relief!

    Do you have a PLAY date once a week? I mean for you, something FUN.

    In Edith Stein’s essay “Feminine Vocations” http://www.essays.quotidiana.org/stein/feminine_vocations she states that a woman is the “heart of the family, and the soul of the home”.

    So you need to fill your HEART, and nourish your SOUL.

    CLARO?

    And I need to go find my BELL.

    Like

  4. THE BEST WAY OUT IS ALWAYS THROUGH. – Robert Frost

    Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. – Robert Frost

    Did you SLEEP last night? Are you in bed by 10pm? Have you been drinking 8 glasses of WATER daily? Are you getting regular EXERCISE? Breaking a SWEAT? Do you have a LAUGH date at least once a week? Are you delegating to your team of 12 HELPERS?

    Do you have a BELL? Yes, a bell. It’s time to ring that bell throughout the house, room by room.

    Play some MUSIC, DANCE, and SING, every single day. It could be your last. Although at this point it sounds like that might be a relief!

    Do you have a PLAY date once a week? I mean for you, something FUN.

    In Edith Stein’s essay “Feminine Vocations” http://www.essays.quotidiana.org/stein/feminine_vocations she states that a woman is the “heart of the family, and the soul of the home”.

    So you need to fill your HEART, and nourish your SOUL.

    Clara que si?

    p.s. I need to go now to register for Gregorian Chant Camp with Anonymous 4 – no joke! http://www.anonymous4.com

    Like

  5. THE BEST WAY OUT IS ALWAYS THROUGH. – Robert Frost

    Always fall in with what you’re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever’s going. Not against: with. – Robert Frost

    Did you SLEEP last night? Were you in bed by 10pm? Have you been drinking 8 glasses of WATER daily? Are you getting regular EXERCISE? Breaking a SWEAT? Do you have a LAUGH date at least once a week? Are you delegating to your team of 12 HELPERS?

    Do you have a BELL? It’s time to ring that bell throughout the house, room by room.

    Play some MUSIC . . .DANCE . . . SING. . . every single day.

    Do you have a PLAY date once a week? I mean for you, something FUN.

    In Edith Stein’s essay “Feminine Vocations” http://www.essays.quotidiana.org/stein/feminine_vocations she states that a woman is the “heart of the family, and the soul of the home”.

    So you need to fill your HEART, and nourish your SOUL.

    CLARO?

    p.s. Gotta’ go send an email to Anonymous 4 to see if they will be leading a Gregorian Chant Camp this summer http://www.anonymous4.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_lr3CYWPkM

    Like

  6. Thank you for the invitation to blog with you. I am awaiting a response from my ‘Life Coach”. In the meantime I must certainly address my technical issues!

    Like

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