New-ish House

As you know, we are buying a house.

Bought a house. 

It officially closes on Monday. 

You would think I would be excited.  Thrilled.  Overjoyed.  Heck, in the very least HAPPY! 

What I feel is dread.  Remorse.  Impending Doom…

Quite the opposite, isn’t it?

Paint on the walls may change the look of it.  But it is still drowning in Things…

I walk through the door and I am depleted of Life, of Love, (yes, I so wanted to continue with Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, but it’s just too corny) of Energy, of Zest for Life. 

I walk through that door and all I want to do is Cry! 

My Babies arrive in a couple of hours, and originally I wanted to take them there, have a room ready for them…

Now, I don’t want to be there myself, why on Earth would I take them? 

I can almost say I hate it…

I know it’s not the House’s fault…but it is the Shell of it all…Sorry, House…But I don’t think I can see you as a Home…not under these circumstances…not now…

I just want it all gone…all of it…

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