Interim

I have been dropping the ball.

It is that simple. 

Not just with you here, but everywhere else.

When did it get so complicated? 

Where did the time go?

I feel, no…I Know that I have not been following through on my Commitments, I have not been there emotionally and even physically for my Any of my Children, my Husband or the rest of my Family…

I truly have dropped the ball and for this I apologize.

I Pray that this truly is the Interim and that it truly will begin to turn around.

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Interim

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  1. Funny how we all end up in the same train stations of life… after we raced through the intake of psycho-educational testing of our son today my hubby and I were listing the number of balls that we just couldn’t seem to keep in the air… life has started to roll out of mental reach for all of us. I know of at least two other couples in similar spots, so on behalf of us all…. just BREATHE and say HELLO stranger, didn’t I marry you a few years back? and lets hope our spouses are awake enough to hear us!

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  2. LIVING, LOVING, LAUGHING

    “Be still and know that ‘I AM’”. That was God’s reply to my same questions.

    And, what a difference a day makes! At least what a difference a full night’s sleep can make. You MUST, MUST be in bed asleep by 10pm. How else can one body/mind/soul sustain the split focus required to meet a woman’s multiple roles of: child of God/wife/mother/household manager/homework police/sister/aunt/cousin/neighbour/employee. And in the words of a famous yet unknown Estonian former model, “It is the hours of sleep that you get BEFORE 11pm that are your beauty sleep”. She is married to a composer who introduced me to Gurdgieff.

    Abundance presents it’s own problems, so I think when I listen to the sister of my aunt, who married my father’s brother, the aunt that is, who is my godfather, my uncle that is, who died at the age of 50 yrs. from early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. My aunt’s sister would have loved nothing more than to have married and mothered children. Apparently, this was not in God’s plan for her. Ironically she is a domestic goddess –an exceptional cook, baker, seamstress, and floral designer. And all that unrelated to her paid work. So, as a hobby she sews wedding dresses, bakes wedding cakes, and produces floral bouquets for friends and family, mine included. My daughter asks why I don’t look brighter in my wedding photos. I was exhausted. What a shame. I should have been asleep by 10pm the night before. Note to self: encourage my aunt’s sister to take up photography next.

    You might consider enlisting a team of 12 to help you carry out your mission. People are mostly always happy to help out, but don’t want to interfere. They need very specific direction. Just ask. For example: “Would you please cook one weeknight Dinner for me (on Wednesdays), ad infinitum, or at least until my children go to college. And while you’re at it, please cook enough to ensure leftovers for the next day.”

    Children grow, life changes, and some women find they have emptied themselves so completely, that just a shell remains. That’s okay for sea creatures, but we must remember to take CARE:

    J +
    O + Y

    When he was in his eighties, my father-in-law said that he found that life seemed to accelerate exponentially with each passing year! So by the time he was in his nineties I imagined that for him, just sitting at his kitchen table must have felt like he was a bowling pin in the middle of a freeway as speeding vehicles were about to knock him out . . . A simple, wise, humble man with little formal education, and yet the mind of an engineer. In his time a carpenter needed to first produce his own tools, before doing his carpentry. So he did. He lived through two world wars, famine, saw the introduction of air travel, and the fax machine, never mind the personal computer, on which he enjoyed playing solitaire. When I would urge him to insist that his grandchildren join him and so learn to build the annual vegetable garden, he would say, “Better that the children spend their time learning the computer, since that’s the future”. Too bad. Garden wisdom lost to the next generation.

    So, apparently you are in for the ride of your life! You can either hold on so tight that your knuckles turn blue, OR, just return to Start.

    It’s your choice.

    Consider that today could be your last day here on earth. Are you ready to meet your Maker?

    That’s not your choice.

    Mazal tov!

    Like

  3. LIVING, LOVING, LAUGHING

    “Be still and know that ‘I AM’”. That was God’s reply to my same questions.

    And, what a difference a day makes. At least what a difference a full night’s sleep can make! You MUST, MUST be in bed asleep by 10pm. How else can one body/mind/soul sustain the split focus required of a woman’s multiple roles of: daughter/daughter/wife/mother/household manager/chief cook and bottle washer/homework police/sister/aunt/cousin/neighbour/employee.

    Abundance presents its’ own problems. So I think when I listen to the sister of my aunt, who married my father’s brother, the aunt that is, who was my godfather, my uncle who was, who died at 50 years old from early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. So, is he still my godfather? My aunt’s sister would have loved nothing more than to have married and mothered children. Apparently, this was not in God’s plan for her. Ironically she is a domestic goddess – an exceptional cook, baker, seamstress, and floral designer. And all that unrelated to her paid work. So, as a hobby she sews wedding dresses, bakes wedding cakes, and produces floral bouquets for friends and family, me included. My daughter asks why I don’t look brighter in my wedding photos. I was exhausted. What a shame. I should have been asleep by 10pm the night before. Note to self: encourage my aunt’s sister to take up photography next.

    You might consider enlisting a team of 12 to help you carry out your mission. People are mostly always happy to help out, but don’t want to interfere. They need very specific direction. Just ask. For example: “Would you please cook one weeknight Dinner for me (on Wednesdays), ad infinitum, or at least until my children go to college. And while you’re at it, please cook enough to ensure leftovers for the next day.”

    Children grow, life changes, and some women find they have emptied themselves so completely, that just a shell remains. That’s okay for sea creatures, but we must remember to take CARE:

    J +
    O + Y

    In Katrina Zeno’s book Discovering the Feminine Genius (Every Woman’s Journey) she describes
    “Running on Empty:
    One of the greatest obstacles to unfolding our unique vocation is exhaustion and depletion. It’s impossible for a woman’s uniqueness to unfold if her emotional interior is dry or she feels the needle is pointing way past empty.
    The experience of exhaustion and depletion is the most common complaint I hear among women with small children or those who are working full time and raising a family. I think we’d be overspiritualizing if we ignore these feelings. So how do we remedy the situation?

    From Channel to Reservoir
    One way is to change the way we view ourselves. I used to think of myself as a channel through whom grace flowed to others. I kept nothing for myself. I was simply a conduit. Then I heard that Saint Bernard of Clairvaux wrote that we should be reservoirs that pour out of overflow.
    If we’re called to be reservoirs, we have to be replenished in order to continue giving out of our overflow. If nothing flows into the reservoir, it’s only a matter of time before we’re empty and barren.
    Unfortunately, many of us walk around empty and depleted because of guilt – not real guilt, but false guilt. Real guilt convicts us when we have acted wrongly, when we have sinned against God and others.
    False guilt is a nagging voice that tells us we should be doing something else. It doesn’t reveal objective wrongdoing, but accuses us of being unproductive and self-indulgent. It pops up when we choose stillness over activity, ‘no’ over ‘yes’, receiving over giving.”

    It’s your choice.

    Consider that today could be your last day here on earth.

    That’s not your choice.

    Are you ready to meet your Maker?

    Like

    1. I Found out today that WordPress has been Booting some comments…

      They are now Salvaged…

      Funny thing is that now, Anonymous has repeats…Well worth reading, if I may say 😀

      I Loved the visual of your Father-in-Law in the middle of a Freeway in the Kitchen…Truly Powerful!
      And let me know when your aunt Does take up Photography!

      Like

    2. I never thought of us as Reservoirs…It makes PERFECT Sense! How can I give what I lack?

      Isn’t it funny how the Deepest Thoughts, Words are usually the Simplest? Perhaps that is precisely why they escape us…

      And I am truly a victim of False Guilt…Worst than that…I pass it on to others 😉

      If today was my last day on Earth, I don’t think I would be leaving a very good taste on the Earth…I need to work on that..

      Like

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