Muchas Gracias…Merci Beaucoup…Salamat…

How Blessed am I?

Yesterday, an AMAZING group of People took time out of their Busy Days and Lives and Wished me Well  😀

Thank You ALL!!

Especially a Great Big Huge Thanks and I Love You Guys for that group that even endured being Shoved Into the Closet to Surprise me!!

As devastating as it is to not have My Beloved Babies with me…Things are beginning to take a Tremendous turn for the Better!  And that is Precisely what scares me!!!

You know when things start going well…too well?  You know that little tinge of Massive Fear because you just know that it can’t last forever and that something will just go wrong?

It may seem that I am being a Pessimist, but trust me, it’s not even that!  

My fear resides in getting too confident, too Joyous, too Certain that My Beloved Babies are going to come and Stay with Me!! 

Perhaps…No, I KNOW that even making that statement is WAY too much!

They haven’t said they are…

They, in reality, haven’t shown any tangible signs…

But…

I have a feeling…

Things are just so much better with my Pumpkin!  She’s more open, accepting, forgiving, LOVING!!!!!  I keep feeling that perhaps she sees that I am not all that Bad!  That I am not the Evil Monster that our Situation has made me out to be…That perhaps I am just a Stinkin’ Sinful Fallen Creature that has made some of the STUPIDEST Mistakes a person can make, but that NEVER, EVER were they Ill-Intentioned, NEVER, EVER meant to hurt any of them, anyone really, but ESPECIALLY THEM!! 

Perhaps She is opening her Heart and being Merciful in Spirit and trying to see things from where I stand and she is willing to Forgive my Selfishness and Stupidity and see that I Truly Love Them and Want Nothing More than to have Them HERE With Me!! 

Perhaps she is wanting to give me that Opportunity?  All of them are! 

I feel that is the case..I WANT that to be the case…

I want them to WANT to be here…I know that they do…I know that they are in a Most Unfair situation…

I have tried my Damnedest never to put them in an even worst one where they were made to choose.  I would just give in.  I would not fight.  I would simply back down.  I just never wanted them to be put in a position where they would be caught in the middle or be made to choose.  Thus, I tried Never to show Hurt, Pain, or overzealous desire…

THAT WAS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE!  I know that, now.

I realize that I should have been more honest with them.  Let them see the hurt and pain that it caused me to lose them.  Perhaps even let them see the effects that words and situations have had on me, on US, on our Relationship…

But my Intentions and Desires were those of Protecting them!  I wanted Divorce to not be such a Horrible thing. 

Naive? Yes.  Absurd? Probably. 

But it had the Best of Intentions…I know…the road to Hell is paved with good intentions…

Is it me, or is it really warm in here????

But I have REALLY Digressed…I know I am Very Blessed…

I am Ecstatic that I will, God-Willing, soon have My Babies here…

Keep us in your prayers, please!

Thank you all, always, for everything! 

LOVE YOU ALL!

Your Sister in Christ,

From The Pews