A Stroll Down Memory Lane…

Way back in 2006 I found this poem by one of my favourite writers, Sandra Cisneros.

At the time I was Blindly, Foolishly and yeah, Stupidly “In Love” with my Husband.  Some things Never change 😛

I sent it to him because I felt, and well, still feel that Ms. Cisneros has given words to the Dichotomy of what seems to be a Paradoxically, Incomprehensible Sentiment. That can at once fill us with such Violent, Aggressively Passionate Love that Destroys us and yet can Soothe us, Calm us, Satiate our Hunger and our Thirst with Unity.

I cannot even begin to describe what she has captured…how she has juxtaposed our Duality. Our Bi-Culturedness. Our Love and Hate. Our…well, I’ll let you read for yourself.

In White is the Original Poem by Ms. Cisneros.

In Red is what I wrote to my Patootie way back when.
Warning! For the record, Dude, I can be corny!!  But always quite in Love and at war with myself due to the Love that I felt and had for him.  Still am and can be too!

Disfrutenlo! And don’t laugh too hard at my words 😉

You Bring Out the Mexican in Me…

~ Sandra Cisneros

You bring out the Mexican in me.
The hunkered thick dark spiral.
The core of a heart howl.
The bitter bile. The tequila lágrimas on Saturday all
(I’m sure you’re familiar with the alcoholic beverage Tequila. We, as I’m sure I do not have to explain to you, drink to forget our pain.)
through the next weekend Sunday.
You are the one I’d let go the other loves for,
surrender my one-woman house.
Allow you red wine in bed,
even with my vintage lace linens.
Maybe. Maybe

For you.

You bring out the Dolores del Río in me.
(Dolores del Rio was a BEAUTIFUL Mexican actress that was passionate, she would fight men on their terms, if they yelled, she yelled back, she was not meek. At all. Yet in the end, she loved with an unbridled fire within her soul…The way I LOVE YOU.)
The Mexican spitfire in me.
The raw navajas, glint and passion in me.
The raise Cain and dance with the rooster-footed devil in me.
The spangled sequin in me.
The eagle and serpent in me.
(Here, these are my roots, my pride.  You know the story of the Founding of Tenochtitlan.  As important, is the legendary blood-thirst of the Aztec.)
The mariachi trumpets of the blood in me.
(Mariachi trumpets are the vital piece in music, they transmit the passion of  the song, the feeling, the pain.)
The Aztec love of war in me.
The fierce obsidian of the tongue in me.
(The Obsidian knife you know of. Well, it is that knifed-tongue that you are able to bring out in me, not Proud of it, but you do!)
The berrinchuda, bien-cabrona, in me.
(Berrinchuda is a pouty brat. Sound familiar  😉 Bien–cabrona is basically more than a handful, kinda Bitchy too, but not in a mean so much as naughty, rebellious way…that may ring a bell as well, huh  MUA XXXXXXX)
The Pandora’s curiosity in me.
The pre-Columbian death and destruction in me.
(These and the following need no explanation.)
The rainforest disaster, nuclear threat in me.
The fear of fascists in me.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

You bring out the colonizer in me.
(Needless to say, the dominator, conqueror, the ambitious woman in me.)
The holocaust of desire in me.
The Mexico City ’85 earthquake in me.
(Devastation, hunger, need, fear, insecurity, jealousy, and also the tenderness and wanting to protect and care for you.)
The Popocatepetl/Ixtaccíhuatl in me.
(These the Popocatepetl and Ixta are volcanoes in México. The Popo is the male and Ixta the female. According to Aztec legend, the woman was told that her Love was killed in battle, she was completely devastated and killed herself. In actuality he was alive, upon his return, he found her body, he was in anguish and despair.  He had lost the woman he loved! He then carried her lifeless body to the Volcano and jumped in with her, to be with her until eternity.)
The tidal wave of recession in me.
The Agustín Lara hopeless romantic in me.
(Now, Agustin Lara is the composer of most of the Love songs I have ever translated for you.  He is the known for his Love for a Mexican actress, Maria Felix, another Spitfire 😉  and the songs he wrote for her are full of passion, unconditional and eternal love…) 
The barbacoa taquitos on Sunday in me.
(Barbacoa taquitos are a typical Sunday after mass lunch.  It symbolizes tenderness, sharing, family.)
The cover the mirrors with cloth in me.
(The cover the mirrors with cloth is Shame.  Embarrassment, cohibition in a woman’s sexuality. I can become shy before you because you uncover my deep truths. You see me, the real me…)

Sweet twin. My wicked other,
I am the memory that circles your bed nights,
that tugs you taut as moon tugs ocean.
I claim you all mine,
arrogant as Manifest Destiny.
I want to rattle and rent you in two.
I want to defile you and raise hell.
I want to pull out the kitchen knives,
dull and sharp, and whisk the air with crosses.
Me sacas lo mexicana en mi,
(You bring out the Mexican in me…)
like it or not, honey.

You bring out the Uled-Nayl in me.
The stand-back-white-bitch in me.
The switchblade in the boot in me.
The Acapulco cliff diver in me.
(These divers are seen as brave, courageous, aggressive, passionate.  They risk it all to unite with their love and passion, the sea.)
The Flecha Roja mountain disaster in me.
(The Flecha Roja is a bus company in Mexico. But I am not familiar with what happened?  But based on the context, it was probably a crime of passion  😉 )
The dengue fever in me.
The ¡Alarma! murderess in me.
(Alarma, is a sensationalist paper that always, I mean ALWAYS has gory, bloody pictures of castrated men, shot lovers, etc. It highlights crimes of passion.)
I could kill in the name of you and think
it worth it. Brandish a fork and terrorize rivals,
female and male, who loiter and look at you,
languid in your light. Oh,

I am evil. I am the filth goddess Tlazoltéotl.
(This is the Aztec goddess of Guilty Pleasures. She is known for eating people’s shit which in actuality are their sins. Specifically adulterous, sexual sins. She inspires AND forgives carnal acts.  Which is what I do or am trying to do, right Mi Amor. She is the embodiment of complexity, contradictions)
I am the swallower of sins.
The delicious debauchery. You bring out
the primoridal exquisiteness in me.
The nasty obsession in me.
The corporal and venial sin in me.
The original transgression in me.

Red ocher. Yellow ocher. Indigo. Cochineal.
(Cochineal is a parasite insect which is also the bug used for a Blood red Color.)
Piñón. Copal. Sweetgrass. Myrrh.
All you saints, blessed and terrible.
Virgen de Guadalupe, diosa Coatlicue,
(Our Lady of Guadalupe is invoked to bring us peace, patience and resignation especially when dealing with men.  Coatlicue is the mother of all creation she requires human heart sacrifices to appease her because she sacrificed herself for our creation.  She is aggressive, desirous of love, gives love but does not stand for nonsense.  She is just, but also can be evil.  Very contrary to Our Lady of Guadalupe. Which embodies us, Mexicanas.  Sweet, Loving, but can and do have a dark side that requires pain, blood and sacrifice.)
I invoke you.

Quiero se tuya. Only yours. Only you.
Quiero amarte. Atarte. Amarrate.
(I want to love you.  Bound you.  Tie you up.)
Love the way a Mexican woman loves.
Let me show you. Love the only way I know how.

Mi Amor, this poem does embody all the feelings and emotions, desires, fears, pain, insecurities, anger, disappointment, romanticism, deception, you name it…it describes it. 

THIS IS HOW I LOVE…this is how I Love you…I am capable of more than you have ever realized…I do hope that you can value and appreciate all the contradictions and complexities that lie within me…

Te Amo…

Ur Silly Girl…Ur MEXICANA Silly Girl XXXXXXXXXXx

 

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