20/20

From torontorealtyblog.com

It’s true, hindsight is 20/20.

How many times have I wished to be able to go back.  Of course, go back knowing what I know now, otherwise it would be pointless, useless and futile.

If I could go back, I would make education a priority.  Now I know that an education is a great key to freedom and independence. 

Also, I would tell and remind myself that God Loves Me.  That Our Father in Heaven is always there, He is always Loving and Caring, even in those dry, bleak, painful moments, even in those Dark Nights. 

I would allow family to care.  It’s funny, it’s not until now that I’m older that I realize what I was always told, “No matter what, Family will always be there.”  Friends come and go.  But family, well, family you’re STUCK WITH Forever! 

I know, believe me, there are times that you wish you could have picked your own.  I remember being much, much younger and wishing that my BFF at the time and I could have been siblings as opposed to the ones I had.  Then, as I got older and my own opinions become more, how should I say, vocalized? That sounds, nice enough, as my opinions became more vocalized and they conflicted with my siblings’ or my parents’ well, then I had even more reasons for wanting to switch and be able to choose my own family. 

But here’s the thing, when push comes to shove, when you really feel that you have no one left to turn to, each time, my family has been there.  I am very, very Blessed.  Is it always a bed of roses? Heck no!  But when it matters most, when I’ve been at a breaking point, they have been there.  Sadly, it took to get to that point to let them in. 

That’s why if I could go back, that would be another thing I would do, let my family in.  Trust them a bit more, come to them for advice, especially my Mom.  Funny, it’s not until now that I realize that.  As with most teen daughters, and young women daughters, our Moms seem so outdated.  Especially in your teens, your Mom is almost like your Mortal Enemy.  It is a pity. 

If I knew then what I know now, like I said, I would go to my Mom as opposed to friends, whom I thought were my friends, and whose advice actually harmed me much, much more than it ever helped…<sigh>…

The good ‘ole, Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda…

But alas, we can’t go back.  We can’t change what was, we can only change what is now.  Try and be better now.  Work hard now.  Understand that anything that is worthwhile takes work! 

And yet, if only…

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